10 Things A Good Husband Should Do
Like all dangerous things in life, marriage should come with an instruction manual. Something that will warn you when you’re about to screw up.
For a newly-married man, it might seem like you’ve been left in the middle of the ocean, on a raft, with no life jacket, and blood-thirsty sharks circling, biding their time.
You married the woman of your dreams, and now what? You’ve probably realized that women are fastidious, and marriage only seems to exacerbate that. So if you ever want to reach the “till death do us part” bit naturally (and not through some convenient “accident”), you’re gonna need to learn the ancient art of making a woman happy.
Here are 10 ways a husband can please his wife (thus ensuring he doesn’t have to sleep with one eye open all the time).
1. Protect Her
The world is a cruel, cold place where danger lurks around every corner. For example, a nail could easily be broken if a woman is forced to open a jar by herself. Like I said, danger around every corner.
There’s also the other kind – the danger danger – and that’s where your value really shows itself. A woman needs to feel safe in her husband’s presence; she needs to know you have her back, no matter what. That will help her sleep at night. You don’t have to be a mountain of a man, or a prized MMA fighter – you just have to be willing to defend her when the brown stuff hits the fan.
2. Respect Her
Respect is earned, and she earned that the minute she agreed to marry you and take your name (if your surname’s odd and used to get you bullied at school, then you owe that woman everything!).
Respect comes in many forms. You should respect her input, her suggestions, her beliefs, and decisions; even if you don’t agree with them, respect her right to have them.
It also extends to the way you refer to her when she’s not around. If she breaks wind during her sleep, and it smells like something crawled under your bed and died, don’t make fun of her to your friends. It’s mean and embarrassing; dead raccoon scented farts should stay between a husband and his wife.
We cannot forget respecting her enough not to cheat on her. No matter how little an affair might mean to you, it’s the most disrespectful thing you can do to your wife.
3. Trust Her
No marriage will survive very long without trust, in all its forms. She has to trust that you’ll come home when you say you will, and you have to trust that, if you don’t, she won’t put rat poison in your cereal.
A woman who is constantly being badgered about where she’s going, who she’s with, and what she’s doing, will soon feel trapped. Before long, her answer to all three of those questions will be “Dave the Mechanic” with his magical wrench.
4. Spoil Her
If a woman tells you she doesn’t like to be spoiled, she’s lying to you and you should divorce her at once! No, but on a serious note, all women like it when their men spoil them. It doesn’t matter how much money she makes, or how easily she can buy herself those treats, when it comes from her husband, it means a whole lot more.
And here’s why: she can’t go to lunch and flaunt the new bag she paid for herself. That wouldn’t generate the type of envy she craves from her single friends. If you bought those new earrings she’s wearing, or paid for her latest spa treatment, she gets major props from her gal pals.
So spoil her once in a while, with gifts, massages, bubble baths, anything that will put a smile on her face. Never wait for her to suggest it, either, because she probably won’t (female independence and all that jazz).
5. Help Out Around The House
Although it might not seem like it, especially since exchanging those vows, it’s your house, too, and you should take care of it. If your wife has her own job, and even if she doesn’t, it won’t hurt to give her a hand with the dishes and laundry from time to time.
If you have kids, she’ll also need a break from those critters. She spent 9 months carrying them around, nonstop, without a day off, then pushed them out into the world – the least you can do is take them to the park on the weekend, help them with their math homework, that sort of thing.
6. Compliment Her Often
It’s customary for women to feel less attractive when they get married, because they’re no longer getting attention from ravenous men like they did when they were single. That’s why it’s imperative that you step in and replace those lost compliments. Coming from you, they’ll mean so much more.
This is the only time it’s acceptable for you to lie. If she’s sporting some new makeup that she loves but you think makes her look like she’s playing a zombie on The Walking Dead, feel free to tell her she looks great. (At least no other men will hit on her.)
7. Listen to Her
Or pretend that you’re listening. It’s all the same to her – she simply needs someone to sound off to. All she expects from you is occasional moans of agreement, a couple of “wows” thrown in for good measure, and she’ll be sorted.
Of course, her discourse won’t always be about idle gossip that doesn’t require your full attention. Sometimes it’s better to listen, because then you’ll learn more about the things that are bothering her, and how you can fix them.
You’ll also learn things of a more intimate nature if you’re listening, which leads us to the next tip…
8. Be a Considerate Lover
Being a lover is one thing; being a considerate and generous lover is a whole ‘nother ballgame. Every woman is different and has her little quirks. Like quantum physics, these can be complex and bizarre.
When it comes to keeping his wife happy, the fool will do whatever the heck he wants, her feelings be damned. Then he’ll complain when she ends up looking elsewhere for her thrills.
The wise man, however, will ask her what floats her boat, then act accordingly. He’ll listen, be attentive, seek to understand, and try to be the best darn lover she’s ever had! The wise man realizes that he’s not the only one in the bed who has needs. Be like the wise man.
9. Give Her Space to Breathe
You’re not joined at the hip, nor have you suddenly morphed into the same person. Thus, there’s no reason why you should spend every waking moment together, doing everything together like some spooky twins.
It’s not the 50’s anymore, so those pesky women actually have lives of their own that don’t revolve around their husbands! Let her do womanly things with her friends without you breathing down her neck.
Space is good for both of you, as it promotes growth.
10. Remind Her That You Love Her
Telling her you love her is fine, but the words will lose all meaning if repeated too often. Instead, you should show her you love her, don’t just rely on words. You do this by going above and beyond for her, doing the thankless tasks, and making her life easier and more comfortable.
This means that when she’s having a bad day and she doesn’t feel like adulting or mothering, you step in without her asking. Or if she’s totally in the wrong and you both know she is, but it means so much for her to be right, concede, tell her how smart she is, and live to see another day.
It’s the little stuff that acts as a declaration of your love. No grandiose gestures – anyone can do that; but the man who truly loves his wife, truly cherishes her, will do the unglamorous stuff and not expect a medal.
So there you have it, the 10-step guide to the perfect marriage.
Who am I kidding? No such thing exists! The truth is, even if you do everything on this list, there’s still no guarantee that your wife will be happy. She’s a woman, after all – what makes her happy today, could infuriate her tomorrow.
It’s safe to say, however, that any woman who finds a reason to be miserable after you’ve made all this effort, is someone who either enjoys being that way, or she just doesn’t love you.