Why am I attracted to someone unattractive?

Why Am I Attracted To Someone Unattractive?

Why Am I Attracted To Someone Unattractive?

Believe it or not, this question isn’t nearly as bizarre as it sounds, and shouldn’t be puzzling to you. I mean, you should know better than some random on the Internet why you’ve fallen head over heels for someone whose face makes young kids scream and hide!

Here’s the thing: attraction is about as capricious and as inexplicable as it gets. Sure, there are people who are considered conventionally attractive, aesthetically – and a consensus, for the most part, is held there. But in general, one person’s attractive is another person’s hideous, and there’s usually no rhyme or reason to it.

Well… not quite.

While some people are just drawn to others for reasons they cannot explain or understand themselves, there are many other attributes a person can have that make them attractive, and these have nothing to do with looks.

Let’s explore some of the reasons why a person might fall for someone whose face looks like something a cat coughed up.

Their personality rocks

Why Am I Attracted To Someone Unattractive?


If you’ve ever known a person who can make an average day seem like the best one of your life, then you know what I’m talking about.

There’s nothing quite as attractive as someone with the power to brighten up your day with their presence, their wit, their aura; to put a smile on your face after you’ve had a bad day.

They’re hilarious

Humor is like an aphrodisiac to many people. Everyone loves a good laugh. The funny guy or gal can succeed with their sense of humor where their looks have failed. Don’t believe me? Look at some of your favorite comedians and their spouses. Need I say more?

The truth is, when the looks have faded, when we’re all old and gray, hovering about with Zimmer frames, so few teeth in our mouths we can count them on one hand, humor will be what’s left.

You want the person who’ll make you chuckle for the rest of your life, not the one who can’t leave the house without looking like they’re on the catwalk.

They’re charming

Why Am I Attracted To Someone Unattractive?


Charm is one of those things that can make an ugly duckling someone you constantly want to be around.

Some people believe it can be taught. I’m not one of them. In my opinion, you’re either born with it or you’re not; you’ve either got it or you haven’t. Real charm, the kind that French men and women exude, is actually in short supply. So when you experience it, it can make you go all tingly inside.

They love and adore you

There’s nothing more attractive than someone who adores you (well, unless they’re a stalker). It doesn’t matter what other people think of them, or how they look to the world, the way they love and worship you can make them the most beautiful person in the world.

The guy that does things for you without you asking. The girl who defends your character when people insult you. The person who tells you that you look amazing when you know you look a hot mess. These people will make you see past the aesthetics and straight to their heart.

A person who makes you feel like they love every inch of you is someone to cherish.

They’re empathetic and compassionate

Why Am I Attracted To Someone Unattractive?


Some people are so sensitive to other’s feelings, they know what you need before you even say it. They connect with you and your emotions on a level that transcends the physical realm.

They’re more than likely your shoulder to cry on when the chips are down. They’re the one who consoles you when there’s been a death in the family; the one who reassures you when Phil from the golf club tells you you swing like a girl.

We all need comforting from time to time, and when you’re at your most vulnerable, and someone comes along to support you, you’ll see the beauty inside them that might not be evident on their face.

Maybe they’re not as ugly as you think

I mean, who’s to say that your crush is unattractive? Did you survey everyone in your city? Was your crush banned from leaving the house during daylight hours? If you answered no to both questions, then chances are your crush is, like 99% of the global population, just average-looking.

Okay, so he or she isn’t stunning, but I’m willing to bet that neither are you (unless you are, in which case congratulations!). You likely aren’t the only person to find them attractive. In certain parts of the world, for instance, your crush might be seen as perfection personified.

Perhaps they have a particular facial feature that makes you weak. Long eyelashes, bee-stung lips, the greenest eyes you’ve ever seen… It could be any number of things.

People just grow on you

Why Am I Attracted To Someone Unattractive?


All people, even hideous ones, have a tendency to grow on others. That guy with the crooked nose and missing front teeth… That girl with the lisp and the wonky eye… You might meet them in the morning thinking they’re monstrous to look at, but come evening time, you can’t get enough of them.

Stranger things have happened.

You don’t want the competition

Why Am I Attracted To Someone Unattractive?


There’s always the possibility (a high one, actually) that your attraction to them stems from the fact that you think you’ll have no competition for their affections because they’re aesthetically challenged.

You’re probably thinking no one would want them, and thus you’ll never have to worry about anyone stealing them from you.

I’ve heard this reasoning more times than I can count. It’s flawed, and you might be in for an unpleasant surprise. Just saying.

People love who they love, at the end of the day. And when you’re drawn to someone, their attractiveness to the outside world is irrelevant. Who cares what others think – they’re not the ones dating them.

That said, there are a few drawbacks you need to consider when dating someone lacking in the looks department.

Disadvantages of dating an unattractive man/woman

  1. They might be insecure – They know they’re ugly, you know they’re ugly, and everyone else around them knows it too. If they lack self-confidence, it won’t be long before they’re whining about how gross they look. And it won’t be long before it starts to annoy you.

  2. They might think you’ll replace them – An unattractive person knows they’ll always have competition, and is well aware that they can be replaced at any time. Expect them to consider anyone more attractive than them to be a threat. And expect them to think you’re cheating.

  3. They’ll wonder what your motives are – If a person doesn’t understand what you see in them as far as looks go, they might start to wonder why you’re even with them, and if you have ulterior motives. That won’t make for a pleasant relationship.

  4. When you’re mad at them, you’ll suddenly remember how ugly they are – It will be the first insult you throw at them to tear them down, and it will probably work. Once that bell has been rung, it cannot be unrung.

  5. Think about the children! – Your genes will have to work overtime if you decide to procreate with an ugly person. Are they equipped for that?


Why are you attracted to someone unattractive? The answer is: you’re not. They’re not unattractive, at least not to you. As I hope I’ve conveyed in this article, attraction isn’t limited to the physical.

You find them enchanting, and that’s really all that matters.