I’m Not Attracted To My Girlfriend Without Makeup
We all know how this story goes… When you first met her, you thought you’d hit the jackpot. You didn’t think it was humanly possible for someone to look that good. The word “beautiful” didn’t do her justice. She was everything you’d ever dreamed of, and OMG, she was actually into you!
…then she took off her makeup, and suddenly you found yourself sleeping next to the Creature from the Blue Lagoon!
Okay, so she’s not as bad as that, but she’s not the woman you were initially attracted to, at least not without makeup. You don’t know who that other woman is, but whoever she is, she’s doing nothing for you. And the worst part about it is, the more comfortable she gets around you, the less she feels the need to doll herself up.
So, what do you do?
Here are a few helpful tips (coping mechanisms, if you will) to get you through your ordeal.
Learn to Love Her Other Qualities
This is something you should have already been doing. Long-lasting relationships are built on so much more than aesthetics. Beauty fades and, as you’ve seen, washes away quite easily with a bit of soap. Thus, what’s left underneath had better be of substance.
Your girlfriend must have other qualities that make her attractive to you. If she didn’t, you wouldn’t have been able to stay with her this long, no matter how beautiful she looked on the outside. An awesome personality can work miracles, can make the hideous beautiful (contrarily, a horrible personality can make even the most beautiful person in the world hideous).
Does she make you laugh? Is she overly affectionate – does she make you feel loved? Do you have fun together? These are all things you should focus on when the makeup comes off, because when you’re seventy-five years old and the makeup’s stopped working altogether, these are the things that will matter.
You essentially have to turn her into your best friend, someone you can’t live without.
Keep a Physical and Mental Image
The mind is a powerful thing. It can convince us that what we’re looking at isn’t what we’re looking at. You have the ability to imagine your girlfriend with makeup on, aided by all the mental images you have of her wearing it.
So the woman who wakes up beside you every morning, the one with the blotchy skin, the puffy, red eyes, and the non-existent lashes, will be transformed into Miss Universe right before your eyes.
If you’re not imaginative enough to fool yourself, just whip out a physical picture of your girlfriend all made up, take some mental snapshots, and hold on to them. If you squint your eyes and dim the lights, she’ll start to look like the woman in the photo.
Remember That All Women Look Average Without Makeup
Ever seen the pictures floating around the interwebs of celebrities without makeup? Yeah. Hollywood and the media have given us a false sense of reality.
Whilst there are some truly beautiful people in the world, those rare diamonds who wake up looking like they just stepped off the catwalk, without the paint job, 99.9% of women are average. Hence why they spend so long plastering the stuff on. The saying, “it takes a long time to look this good” comes to mind.
Here’s the thing, though: they’re not alone. Most men are also average. For her, there’s makeup as an enhancement; for him, it could be something unrelated to his looks, like the size of his… we’ll say wallet here, to keep things clean.
The point I’m trying to make is that everyone – including you – is average, and if you go looking for someone more attractive, you’ll run into the same problem, because she, too, will likely be average underneath.
Ask Yourself if You Love Her
This might be a hard pill to swallow, but what if you’re just not in love with her, never have been, and her perceived beauty was the only saving grace; but since it disappears every night, there’s nothing substantive keeping you invested?
The truth is, if you really do love her, you’d accept that:
- the woman wearing the makeup isn’t really her – If you can’t accept this, it means that you’re in love with the idea of her, not the real her. The woman without the makeup is who she truly is, so if you don’t love that, you’re in love with a fantasy.
- she won’t always look her best – There will be plenty of times when beautifying herself will be the furthest thing from her mind, like when she’s heavily pregnant, carrying your offspring. She’ll be fat, grumpy, and won’t have the time or energy to wear makeup.
What will you do then? If you can’t accept this, you probably shouldn’t be with her, because the woman you truly love would never be unattractive to you when she’s not at her best.
Be Thankful She’s Not Always Stunning
You should count yourself lucky that she doesn’t always look terrific, that she isn’t among the blessed 0.1 percent of the population that were born with looks to die for, because, let’s be real, she probably wouldn’t be with you if she was!
Women with natural beauty have options, and unless you’re one of the hottest or richest guys in the world, you likely wouldn’t stand a chance with someone like that. So be grateful that she’s average just like you.
I know this is difficult, because attraction isn’t something you can force or fake. We like what we like. That said, people have a tendency to grow on us if we give it long enough. It’s very common for a partner to become more attractive the more time we spend with them, as we get to know them better. Maybe you need to give it more time for real feelings unrelated to her looks to develop.
If, however, you find that you simply can’t move past the aesthetics, then your attraction to her is only skin deep, and the relationship was doomed from the start, because the foundation on which it was built is weak.