My Girlfriend Gets Mad At Me For No Reason
There comes a time in every relationship when, one day, quite out of the blue, a man will wake up and discover that his girlfriend turned into the many-headed Hydra while he was asleep! And now all the heads are trying to devour him because he can’t seem to do anything right.
This is the all too familiar scenario you’ve found yourself in, and you’re wondering how you got to this point. Wondering how your beloved who once made your meals with love, has taken to making them with arsenic.
You’ve been racking your brain trying to figure out what’s wrong, because, naturally, asking her could result in your unexplained disappearance.
There is a reason
What you need to know is that there’s always a reason, she just hasn’t told you what it is, though you’re expected to know. It could be any number of things, from the trivial to the sacrilegious.
It could be something you’ve done, something you haven’t done, something someone said you’ve done, something you’ve done in her dreams (this brings to mind that famous episode from Friends, where Phoebe is mad at Joey), or something wholly unrelated to you.
Let’s take a look at the main reasons why your girlfriend could be mad at you, and what you can do to appease her.
You did something wrong
90% of the time, this is the explanation. Women have memories like elephants. They remember everything you did, no matter how long ago it happened, and they store it away in their memories for safe-keeping, until such a time that they can use it against you.
Did you fail to wash the dishes? Turn up late to some important event? Let the dog chew on her favorite pair of shoes and not replace them? There are a million ways a man can screw up, and you can rest assured that you’ve done at least one of them.
A comment made in jest; something unpleasant you said to her in an argument; a compliment that she took as an insult; or even not complimenting her when she was expecting it, these are all ways your words (or lack thereof) can anger her.
For all past and future mistakes, or wholly imagined ones. You don’t even have to know what you did wrong. It’s not as though you can avoid screwing up again; it’s inevitable.
If she does state what the problem is, take it seriously (no matter how minor the infraction) and offer a sincere apology without blaming her or trying to justify your actions. She’s not looking for explanations, she’s looking for you to acknowledge that you were wrong (even if you weren’t).
I know, I know, this isn’t fair, but that’s life. If you want to get back into her good books and reap the benefits therein, you’re gonna have to concede. Them’s the rules.
Your girlfriend’s monthly visitor has arrived
No, it’s not her secret lover from out of town!
There comes a time every month when you only have to look at a woman the wrong way and that’s enough to set her off. Menstruation can make women homicidal, so thank your lucky stars she’s only shouting at you.
Solution: Learn her menstrual cycle
Once you learn when Erdbeerwoche is arriving, you can avoid her. Make up a believable excuse to stay away, and wait for the storm to pass. This will usually take about 4 days.
While your absence might make her angry in the short term, once it’s over, she’ll be her happy, loving self again.
Your girlfriend feels unappreciated and neglected
It can be frustrating when the person you love doesn’t seem to notice all that you do for them. If your girlfriend feels like she never gets thanked, it could lead her to feel angry with you.
Likewise, if you’ve been neglecting your duties as a boyfriend, and she’s been longing for the good old days of impromptu nights out, weekends away, expensive gifts etc., she’ll take this out on you if she feels she can’t talk to you about it.
Solution: Show her how much she means to you
Show appreciation in a way that’s meaningful to her. There are many ways to achieve this. Back rubs, a new piece of jewelry, tickets to something she likes (and your commitment to accompany her, no matter how boring it might be).
You know what rocks her boat. Do something nice for her that will turn her frown upside down.
She’s dissatisfied with you in general
Sometimes, despite your best efforts to make her happy, you will never be able to, because you’re just not Mr Right. It’s not your fault, but you’re getting the brunt of her ire, because this is the only way she knows how to express her dissatisfaction.
If you’ve been asking yourself:
“why does my girlfriend yell at me in public, belittle me in front of her friends, and always find fault with everything I do?”
Well, this might be the reason.
Realizing that you’re not her cup of tea can make a woman resentful towards you and cause her to lash out.
Solution: Suggest a temporary separation
It’s going to be tough to do, but you need to be sure where her heart lies. If she jumps at the chance, then you’ll know where you stand.
A woman who doesn’t have separation on her mind will be insulted by the suggestion, and she’ll more than likely tell you exactly where you messed up.
Her life isn’t going well
Whether it’s her career, her health, her finances, or friendships, her failures might be making her miserable; and though you have nothing to do with any of that, you’re the one who’s there, ready to be the proverbial punching bag. It’s what you signed up for when you decided to date women. Suck it up.
Solution: Listen and soothe
It might take a little while for her to be comfortable enough to confide in you, so a little patience will be required. Or you could frequently ask her how everything’s going, and be ready to listen while she breaks down. Just be there for her.
She’s met someone else
Falling for someone else while she’s with you could be the reason why your girlfriend’s resentful towards you; because, put simply, you’re not him.
Breaking up with people is hard enough without the added complication of a third party. She might not want to hurt your feelings by telling you she’s found her soulmate. By being a monster, she’s hoping to force you to break up with her.
Oftentimes, people will start fights just to give their partner a reason to leave them so they can move on to a new flame. It’s the coward’s way out, but it’s more common than you might think.
Are there any signs that your girlfriend might have been unfaithful? Has she been showing interest in a new guy lately?
If she’s met someone else and finds it hard to end things with you, then this might be her way out, guilt-free. When things go belly up later with new-guy, she can always say that you ended things, thereby blaming you for everything.
Solution: Ask her if there’s someone new
If you have reasonable suspicions, you need to ask, then brace yourself for the answer. Tell her you won’t get mad if there is, that you just need to know. You want her to be honest, so be as cool as possible when you confront her.
A woman’s mood will change like the wind, and a certain level of understanding is expected from the men in her life. That said, your happiness should not be ignored in all of this. Yes, have patience, but not at the expense of your happiness. If she is making you miserable and won’t tell you why, you need to decide if she’s worth the trouble.