13 Things Guys Don’t Like In A Relationship
Everyone has their flaws. We’re human, we were born that way. And no, ladies, you’re not exempt, no matter how perfect you think you are. But no adult stepping into a serious relationship expects perfection from their partner, so you don’t have to be.
However, some imperfections are a lot harder to live with than others. Some flaws have been known to send good men running for the hills (and into the welcoming arms of “that bitch Jennifer he works with, who’s always been sniffing around”).
Don’t wanna lose your man – present or future – to Jennifer? Here are 13 of men’s biggest dislikes and turnoffs when it comes to women.
This is a no-brainer. No one likes a cheat, and everyone dreads being cheated on.
While women have this innate ability to accept infidelity and forgive (after mixing dog food into their partner’s meals, of course), men have a particularly hard time coping when their girlfriend/wife has been unfaithful. It’s something to do with their egos.
If you go down this route, just be prepared for the destruction of your relationship, and his future relationships, because he’ll wear that distrust like a tattoo.
There’s never a reason to cheat; if you don’t want to be with him, end the relationship and go your separate ways. No drama, just a clean break.
2. Poor Personal Hygiene
Ladies, let’s have a frank discussion. A man will tolerate a lot from you – weight gain, finding your hair all over his bathroom, you not shaving your legs regularly (making it feel like he’s sleeping next to his best friend Eric)… but poor hygiene is a no-no.
Morning breath, whilst unpleasant, is a part of life, and no one will divorce you for it. But it’s called “morning” breath for a reason. It should not still be there in the afternoon! Brush and floss, brush and floss.
You should never skip showers. You might think you smell okay, but you’re probably not the best judge. A skunk also thinks he smells okay. Don’t put your partner through that, because if you ever break up, you’ll be known as his smelly ex-girlfriend. Yikes!
3. Flirting With Other Guys
A guy’s ultimate dream is to have a woman that makes other men envy him. What isn’t so good is having a girlfriend who makes him envy other guys.
Have you been getting a little too friendly with a male friend or colleague lately – that one guy whose name just keeps popping up in every conversation? Or do you act like you’re single and flirt with anything with an Adam’s apple?
You might think it’s all harmless fun, but what you see and what your boyfriend sees are two different things. As far as he’s concerned, you might as well be doing the nasty with some random guy right in front of him! That’s how a man’s mind works.
Learn the difference between friendliness and flirtatiousness. Don’t cross the line. And if Funny Steve at the gym is so awesome you feel the need to bring him up all the time, then maybe you should be dating him instead.
Being stingy with not just material possessions but with your time is also a trait men can’t stand in women. He’s not expecting you to splurge on him – a good man wants to pamper you, not to be pampered – but if you can’t buy him a small gift for his birthday, or worse, you won’t even celebrate it with him, he’ll start questioning why he’s with you.
Men don’t like dating women who are more tight-fisted than them, so if you’re expecting him to be generous, he’ll want generosity from you in return. Quid pro quo and all that.
5. Being Smothered
This is one women screw up all the time. People need their space, and last time I checked, men were people too. It doesn’t matter how much he loves you, how much he says he needs you, there will always come a time when he needs you to leave him alone.
Clingy girlfriends come off as needy and dependent, and a man can quickly feel overwhelmed in a relationship. No man wants to be suffocated (either figuratively or literally). So let him have his “me time”. Don’t try to hang out with him and his buddies – that time isn’t for you. Give him a chance to miss you.
6. Not Backing Him Up
If you’ve been on this planet long enough, you’ll be familiar with the male tendency to put their foot in their mouth, and their inability to know how to remove it. That’s why they need women in their lives, to back them up when feet meet mouth.
A woman who doesn’t verbally defend her boyfriend/husband when he gets entangled in something controversial, maybe with her friends or family, is one he’ll soon grow bitter towards. If you can’t defend him against the people in your life, he’ll wonder if he means enough to you.
Tammy Wynette said it best: “Stand by your man, even when he’s wrong and sounds like a complete idiot” (okay, I added that bit). If you don’t agree with him, wait until you get home to have it out.
7. Being Constantly Criticized
A man’s self-esteem, despite how they present, is incredibly fragile. The wrong comment at the wrong time can destroy him. He navigates the world thinking he can do and be anything, and that he’s the greatest thing since sliced bread (which isn’t all that, by the way. Just saying). This is ultimately how he achieves greatness.
What he doesn’t need from you is to be constantly lambasted, to have all his faults and flaws be thrown in his face, and to be compared to other men seemingly doing better than him.
Constructive criticism is always important, and that’s the kind you should strive to give. The other kind just makes you look mean, and he’ll end up resenting you and plotting your demise.
Lying, even the little white kind, is never good. You might think that a small one is insignificant and harmless, but it’s a slippery slope.
A man hates it when his woman lies about even the tiniest things, because it sets off his wild imagination. If you can lie so easily about trivial things, he’ll wonder what big things you’ve lied about. Lying about eating the last cookie will lead him to think you lied about how close you are to Matt in Accounting.
9. Mood Swings
Women are emotional creatures – all men understand that. This is especially clear around that time of the month, when they realize they’re living with Dr Jekyll and Mrs Hyde!
Though they’re used to these types of hormonal changes, it doesn’t make them any less annoying to deal with. He has to wake up beside you every morning not sure who you’ll be this time. Will you be miserable and blame him for the bad weather? Or will you want to get frisky before work? It can sometimes feel as though he’s dating seven different women at once.
Try to keep the mood swings to a minimum. If you sense one coming, warn him then ask to be left alone. If he wants to stick around to see you turn into the Hulk, that’s on him.
10. Being Ignored
Women going AWOL or giving radio silence for long periods of time are a constant source of frustration for men. In his mind he begins doubting himself, afraid that he’s the problem, which can really screw with his ego. Ignoring his calls, texts or presence when others are around will make him feel like he’s not a priority to you.
Men are like puppies – they need constant love and attention (on their terms, of course). If you’ve made a commitment to be with him, he doesn’t want to be ignored.
This goes without saying. Abuse is wrong no matter who it’s coming from. Don’t think that being the weaker sex gives you permission to abuse your male partner! It doesn’t.
Men hate abuse in any of its forms – verbal, emotional or physical. If your boyfriend is afraid to breathe in case you fly off the handle, this is a huge issue, and no relationship can withstand it for long. You wouldn’t tolerate it from him, so don’t expect him to tolerate it from you.
12. Being Humiliated in Public
He’s your boyfriend, not your child. Speaking to him like you’re his mother, or correcting him in front of others, will make him resent you.
Don’t bring up embarrassing details he told you in confidence in front of others, either. And don’t make jokes at his expense. Because, like that one time in their teens when they were caught reading a naughty magazine, men always remember being belittled.
If he’s vindictive enough, he’ll wait for his opportunity to pay you back.
13. Women Who Don’t Make An Effort
Chances are, when you met your partner you were dressed to the nines, looking like a million bucks and some change, and turned the heads of many men. Now, unfortunately, you’ve become complacent, and those heads are turning in the opposite direction.
Your man knows it’s impractical for you to be glamorous all the time, but what really grinds his gears is when you don’t make any effort at all.
Do your hair from time to time. That baggy t-shirt you keep wearing, you know, the one with the holes under the armpits, should have been thrown out a long time ago. It isn’t sexy. Stop wearing it!
Men are visual creatures – they appreciate beauty. So let him lust over you every now and then, like he did at the start of the relationship.
I hope this gaze into the male psyche has given you some food for thought, ladies. Now that you know some of the pitfalls to avoid, you’ll give any future relationship a higher probability of succeeding.