How To Never Fall In Love Again
Love is a powerful, beautiful thing. It’s inspired so many to write poetry, songs, books and plays. The feeling of loving someone and being loved in return can be intoxicating, exhilarating…
But no one likes to talk about the downside. Everyone conveniently forgets to mention that half of those love-inspired songs and literature came about as a result of love gone wrong. Products of that “powerful, beautiful thing” becoming hideous and destructive.
Now, being the astute reader that you are, you’ve likely come to the conclusion that in order to avoid the latter, you’ll ultimately have to avoid the former. No love means no heartbreak. No heartbreak means you get to sleep peacefully at night.
No driving yourself crazy over the lipstick stain on Eric’s collar (you know it’s not yours because you’ve never been able to pull off that color). No freaking out wondering who gave Pam those hickeys she got when you were away on business.
It’s time to say “no, stay the heck away from me!” to love, once and for all. Here you’ll find 10 tips on how to never fall in love again, thus avoiding all the pain and suffering that usually accompany the notion.
Tip One: Avoid getting to know new people
If you don’t meet anyone, you’ll never fall for them.
It may seem impossible to avoid meeting new people in your daily life, but there are ways you can manage it. Don’t go to events where new people will be. If socializing is inevitable, tell anyone remotely interesting that you’re either seeing someone or you only date the sex they’re not. That’ll keep prospective suitors at bay.
You might not be able to circumvent attraction – it has a mind of its own. But you can prevent it festering, like a disease, and becoming full-blown love. That’s where Tip Two comes in.
Tip Two: Avoid spending a lot of time with one person
There might already be someone in your life that, were you not broken inside, you might have given a chance. So you need to do everything in your power to keep them at arm’s length.
This is when you’re most vulnerable. Many a relationship was formed after long-time acquaintances finally realized that what they were looking for was right in front of them all along (before splitting up a year later and resenting each other!). Don’t be like them. Don’t let anyone get under your skin.
Tip Three: Spend as much time as possible with family
Hanging out with family means there’s no chance you’ll fall in love with anyone (unless you’re from a creepy little town in the deep south where everyone has the same parents).
Be warned, however. Family has a tendency to make you feel like a leper if you’ve been single too long. And the sight of your siblings all loved up with their partners can make you long for a relationship of your own.
Tip Four: Avoid romantic comedies
Romantic comedies will depress you more than a trip to an abbatoir, especially when the idea of love has become anathema to you. They’ll make you start wanting things – kisses in the rain, hand-holding through busy streets, matching tattoos… that sort of things.
Romcoms are for lovers, or people who want them. Anyone else watching them will only make themselves miserable. So stay away.
Tip Five: Build a wall
Build an emotional wall around your heart and your feelings. Once the wall is built, make sure it has no cracks and no secret passageways in. Prospective lovers will try to breach it, so make sure your security measures are up to snuff.
While you’re at it, those friends and family members who love to feed into the idea that you’re lonely and need to find someone should go behind it, too. They might think their advice is helpful, but it’s not, and they need to keep their unwanted opinions to themselves.
Tip Six: Be unapproachable
Tricksters will try to tempt you off your path and into their arms. They’ll try to break down your walls and convince you that you don’t need them. Don’t let them use their charm on you.
Be as unfriendly as possible when you notice someone flirting. Not rude, per se, just make it clear that you’ll make their lives a living nightmare if they ever succeed in winning you over.
Your heart is at stake here; drastic times call for drastic measures. If every prospective suitor finds you obnoxious or cold, they’ll leave you alone, and you’ll never have to fight your feelings for them.
Tip Seven: Stay busy
When you’re not at work, stay occupied with activities and hobbies that consume all the time you’d otherwise spend bemoaning the single life. Go out with platonic friends; write a thriller novel; get a dog; volunteer for charity… anything that will keep your mind and hands occupied with things other than romance.
Finding a new hobby that doesn’t normally attract good-looking people you’re likely to fall for should be on your to-do list. Things like bird-watching and stamp-collecting are mostly safe pursuits.
Tip Eight: Stay off social media
Social media likes to remind you of what you’re missing. Pictures of weddings, happy couples on their honeymoon, pregnancies etc. will pull you back into that disillusioned state of wanting what they have.
We all know how fatal this can be for your fragile heart, so spend as little time as possible on social media.
Tip Nine: Remember all the woes love brings
Think about all the heartbreak, breakups, and disappointment love has caused you over the years. Now think about how long it took you to get over that, and how difficult it was. The tears, the anger, the sitting in corners rocking insanely while you pull chunks out of your hair…
Are those things you want to go through again? I doubt it. If you constantly remind yourself of the downsides and never think about the upsides (there aren’t any!), you’ll associate negativity with love, and that should be enough to deter you.
Tip Ten: Don’t put love on a pedestal
Remind yourself that there’s more to life than finding someone and falling in love with them. Your happiness isn’t dependent on romantic relationships. There are plenty of people who live happy, fruitful lives without romantic interests.
Not everyone is cut out for long-term relationships. Some people, perhaps you’re one of them, are better off single and enjoying life free and unencumbered by the burden of love. Own it.
Whatever your reason for choosing to go this route, you should be aware that the universe has a way of making things happen that we humans have no say in. You could do all of the above and still find yourself standing face-to-face with the person of your dreams (the ones you insist you don’t have), and then the two of you could live happily ever after.
For this reason, I would never advise anyone to close their hearts off permanently. Just be cautious and don’t fall in love with the idea of love – as this is when you’ll be disappointed.